The Ultimate Guide to Creating an Irresistible Dating Video

We get it, dating is hard. And using online dating apps and sites may seem impersonal, as effective as they can be. Trying to summarize yourself in a short amount of words is daunting in itself. Should you be funny or earnest? What movies and TV shows should you list – the ones that make you seem smart and cultured or the ones that you actually binge-watch till 3AM? And even when you finish creating your profile, these inevitable thoughts cross your mind, How can they get to know the real me through some photos and a paragraph? Why can’t this just be as easy as having a casual conversation?

Enter dating videos. Making videos of ourselves, whether through Snapchat or Instagram, has become a normal part of our lives. A dating video is its own conversation-starter. (And god knows that trying to start a conversation on a dating app is the hardest part).

Making a dating video isn’t as hard as it sounds. Think of it as a longer Snapchat video or Vine that could potentially help you find the love of your life. Think of the possibilities! And luckily, we’ve got the tips and tricks to make it easy to make a dating video that’ll attract your soulmate (or at least a first date).

Create movie quality video… with your iPhone

Okay, we’re not saying that the video needs to have the cinematic qualities of a Scorsese film, but it is important that your video looks like you put effort into it. Nobody wants to see a grainy video where they can’t even make out what you look like. Luckily, there are ways to hack your iPhone to make the video look professional and, if you’re willing to splurge a little, this article breaks down how to capture high quality video at every budget.

Want to know a secret? It all comes down to the lighting. We all know that the perfect selfie all depends on the lighting. So if you can record your video on a sunny day while sitting by a window, your video will look 10x better than if you were using regular indoor lighting. So if you can’t get lighting equipment, just remember that the sunshine is your best friend.

Don’t turn them off before you’ve even said a word

The best-performing videos on YouTube are easy to watch. That means that there’s not a lot of clutter in the background, so you can focus on what the person is saying. There’s no background noise, making it easier to hear the video. The same goes for your video. The quieter and more visually-appealing your video is, the better the chance that it’ll evoke a positive response.

The YouTube video below is pretty simple yet it keeps you engaged because it’s visually appealing and you can hear what she’s saying. We’re not saying that you need to do a voice over and have intro music, but a little attention to details will go a long way.

Dressing the part

You want to dress for the video in the same way that you would dress for a casual first date. You want to look clean, but not like you spent 5 hours in the mirror. And your clothes should be casual but nice. You might want to go one step further, and use your clothes to show off your personality. Wear a t-shirt from your favorite band or alma mater. That’s an easy way to establish a common interest with whoever is watching.

Warm Up

Confidence begins with the voice. Doing some vocal warm ups will make it easier for you to project your voice and sound more self-assured. When you’re talking on video, you tend to speak slower and enunciate more so that you’re easier to understand. Vocal exercises will help you better acclimate to this type of purposeful speaking. If you don’t have time for a full warm up, you can do some deep breathing exercises. Not only will they help with your speaking, but they’ll also help you calm your nerves.

Plan ahead and keep it short

You don’t need to write a detailed script of everything you’re going to say. In fact, please don’t do that. It’ll come off forced and insincere. But it will help you to have a loose idea of what you’re going to say in the video beforehand. Mention only what people are going to be interested in, so a 5 minute ode to your cat (as cute as Mr. Snuffles may be) isn’t going to cut it.

The video shouldn’t be longer than 30 seconds. It gives you plenty of time for people to get to know you, while enticing them to try to initiate a conversation so that they can learn more about you.

Showcase your passion

Remember that you’re creating a video so that people can get to know you. So instead of talking about your passion, you could use the video to show your passion. Set up your iPhone or camera in the kitchen and give your potential soulmate a taste of what a future date with you could entail (everybody loves a partner that can cook). If you like to paint, you can show off some of your paintings. Don’t worry about being a show off. People want to know more about you, that’s why they’re looking at your profile.

Stand up

YouTuber David Turnbull advises standing up to help you feel more confident:

“Because as someone who recorded hundreds of videos from a seated position, I noticed a dramatic improvement in how I felt in front of the camera (and how I came across) once I started standing up.”

Since he spends most of his time making videos, we can be sure he knows what you’re talking about. Standing up might have other benefits, too – it can help you showcase your outfit, allow you to get a more flattering angle, and help you show off your dance moves (if that’s your thing). The point is, there are many ways to make a video. If you’re more comfortable standing, then stand. But if sitting helps you feel more relaxed, then let your couch potato flag fly high.

Be real

Chances are that if you’ve ever been around someone that’s trying too hard the first thing you wanted to do was find the nearest exit. The old adage rings true: just be yourself. Always remember that this video is about showing who you are, not some aspirational version of you. The former is always more interesting than the latter.

In this YouTube video, Josh Sundquist is his honest self, even when it comes to a topic that can be difficult to approach – his disability. Because he’s not trying to be someone he’s not, the video is entertaining and relatable.

As cliche as it sounds, the most important thing is that you have fun. Don’t overthink it too much. When you’re relaxed, it’ll make it easy for the real amazing you to shine through. After all, the whole point is to showcase the essence of your personality the way words and photos can’t. So get creative with it. You never know who you’ll meet as a result.


Danielle Small is a writer based in Atlanta who recently left New York City because the rent was too damn high. Her book, Confessions of a Token Black Girl, received rave reviews from her mom and her pet turtle. Follow her on Twitter @danielleabeda.

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