How to Make a Good Impression When Talking on Dating Apps
Okay, the first message has winged its way to your match and they’ve responded in kind. Now it’s on! But where do you go next, how do you get to know them, and build a connection that brings you closer while having some fun too?
So, start by asking questions. If your match is already on a roll talking about themselves, listen attentively and you’ll learn a lot. Ask questions as they occur to you. Put some thought into what you’d like to know about this person, like stockpiling ammo (cupid’s arrows in this case!). That will start to win the interest and eventually the heart of your match.
If you’ve been asking a boatload of questions and they’ve shown little reciprocal interest in you, take this as a sign they are probably self-centered. You don’t want to date IRL a narcissistic personality where it’s always about them. Don’t waste any more time; just stop responding and they’ll get the hint and move on too.
But say you’re having a good give-and-take, a positive sign you’re clicking. Maybe you’ve already started flirting a little. But don’t go overboard like being suggestive or provocative. It’s way too soon for that and will likely scare them off. Some light and witty banter is appropriate and will develop more rapport between you two.
As you build your online relationship be honest about yourself. Don’t lie about things like age, weight, and height. Have a sense of humor about your appearance, be charmingly self-deprecating. If you can joke about yourself you become more real and human to the other person. It puts them at ease. Then they can feel comfortable revealing some of their own insecurities that makes light of them. I mean, who wants to be around someone that takes themselves too seriously? That’s no fun and a turn-off.
Once you’ve set a date IRL, prepare yourself again. You or they may become shy meeting in person for the first time. On a first date you can expand on everything you’ve learned so far about each other online. Did they tell you about a job interview coming up? Ask them how it went.
Continuing to find common ground will make your first offline date a success. Did they go on a weekend hiking excursion they talked about online? Ask how it was. Are you two animal lovers? This is a rich field of conversation to plow.
The bottom line in learning how to have a conversation online and offline is interest in the other. Be curious, ask follow-up questions if there’s more you want to know. Knowing how to draw out a hesitant date, using your genuine interest in them, will get them to say more than they thought they had to say.
Has this blog sparked some thoughts of your own on how to talk to others online or IRL? Give us your opinions in the comments section below.