First Date Jitters: What You Can Do About Them
You read a lot of stuff about dating online, hear horror stories sometimes, urban legends about how something went amiss and the story became a meme. Yet the hot topic everyone is dying to know about is: how does one overcome their nerves on a first date?
Whether you are an extrovert, introvert, or have a social phobia it’s completely human to experience butterflies in your stomach, your heart racing, your palms growing sweaty, or in extreme cases your stomach is in knots.
We all experience dating jitters in one form or another.
What can you do to get past this hyper-nervous energy? First of all, acknowledge what you are feeling. Especially you men out there. It’s not unmanly to have feelings of uncertainty, which is what nerves are all about anyway. It’s what you do with those nervous feelings that will determine how you get through a first date.
Do not make a big production out of a first date.
Keep it simple. Coffee dates are ideal and they are inexpensive. Don’t go for a three-course dinner or a 2-hour movie. You want to keep the focus on getting acquainted, not staring at a menu and trying to pick the least expensive entrée to save your dating partner’s wallet from shrinking right before your eyes. Sitting in a movie is also not a good way to get to know each other.
On the day of the date keep yourself busy.
Try doing laundry or shopping, get your haircut, or have a sauna or a spa treatment. Keep at bay your feelings of nervousness. Do keep the focus on doing things that make you feel productive, relaxed, or absorbed (a good book!). Focusing too much on your anxiety will only make it worse.
Talk on the phone with friends about how nervous you are.
They will give you a reality check that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. In other words, that you aren’t some kind of freak. Your friends will support you and possibly give you some of the same advice I’m dispensing here. Listen to them because they will help you.
By all means make an effort to look presentable.
Don’t just toss on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt even though you are only having a coffee date. The more effort you put into your appearance without becoming neurotic about it, the more confident you will feel.
Practice positive thinking.
As you are on your way to your first date be excited about meeting this person and finding out about who they are. (Excitement and nervousness are two sides of the same coin, did you know?) This takes the focus off you and your nerves and redirects it to your dating partner. Develop a sense of curiosity. What are you going to learn about them beyond the few superfluous things you already know?
Be in the here and now.
You may be thinking you’d like a long-term boyfriend or girlfriend. And stop right there. You are going to be meeting an acquaintance you hope will become a friend. Friendship after all is the basis of all good relationships. Put romance on the back burner because if you are thinking way ahead of the game, you are setting up unrealistic expectations, and that will most certainly lead to a major case of nerves.
Don’t ask the standard questions.
It’s common to ask the usual questions about their job, career, where they were born, all of that. But it’s not organic and a stiff, staid way to try and get to know them. You might start off the conversation once you’ve settled in with your Frappuccino, by trying an opening gambit, something like ‘how was your day?’ Right away you bring the present into focus. It’s a natural ice breaker and sure to elicit a spontaneous response.
Keep the focus on them.
This frees you from your own nervousness and makes the other person feel you are truly interested in what they have to say. When you open the door to letting someone in to talk about themselves the conversation will start to flow. They’ll say something and you’ll find yourself relating to their experience. And even if you don’t, you are learning about who they are.
During the conversation, they might expose a character flaw. No one needs to be perfect! All anyone needs to do is be themselves. The talk will ebb and flow and brief periods of silence are nothing to worry about. Because before you know it a thought will pop into someone’s head and the conversation will be off and running again. All social interactions have a rhythm, the heartbeat of life.
Be curious and receptive.
In doing so, you are creating a space for someone to express themselves as they truly are. A shy person can come alive and discover themselves in your presence. Even if you don’t continue on to a second or third date, you still leave behind an impression of someone who was genuinely nice. And good experiences like that first date will lead to more positive experiences as you go on more first dates.
All the aforesaid is good advice to follow and it doesn’t stop there. The good folks at Zepeel, a first-of-its-kind video dating app will also help turn the volume knob down on first-date jitters.
Also Read>> How to Have an Amazing Zepeel First Date!
Zepeel is a cradle-to-the-grave virtual reality experience unlike any other on the planet. It is a comprehensive dating app that uses video to introduce matches to each other, help them become acquainted, develop rapport, and prepare for a first date IRL.
The first step is to upload a 30-second video to introduce and give out some basic information about yourself. Now you are ready to start viewing everyone else’s videos. Once you find someone that interests you, tap the plus button and send a brief message to break the ice. If you get a plus back with a message then it’s on to the step two, texting. If you are getting a good vibe, then maybe it’s time to video message, which will add another layer of excitement to your experience.
The live video chat is the heart-pounding experience of finally meeting in real time. This feature is what Zepeel offers that other online dating sites don’t.
A final word.
First dates don’t have to be the stomach-churning events that singles would rather avoid. Instead following some common-sensical pointers we’ve put forth, plus an ahead-of-the-curve dating app like Zepeel will put the fun and excitement back into first dates.
Bio: Patricia attended San Francisco State University and earned a degree in Technical and Professional Writing in 2008. She took a professional development course, B2B High-Performance Copy-writing from American Writers and Artists Inc., in which she learned among other things lead generation, white papers, and landing pages. she has experience in blogging and expert in writing different topics.