The Most Embarrassing Dating Stories Ever Told
Imagine a hypothetical scenario where the guy/gal of your dreams emerges from the routine doldrums of everyday life. Upon first introduction, the person appears to be cool enough/nice enough/smart enough to merit pouring your energy into getting to know them better. And, lucky for you, getting to know them requires dating. Thoughts begin to roll through your mind of an awkward date you went on when you were just a wee and unseasoned-in-the-ways-of-love undergrad. The one particularly mortifying event your best friend will tell your children about, and the one she’ll innocently taunt you with forevermore.
Well, if you were to hypothetically think things like this, you wouldn’t be alone. According to the wealth of information found on the internet, we’ve discovered that dating follies are common. From indecent proposals before the second course, or taking a swan dive into a bottle of tequila on an empty tummy, we’re happy to share some of the best stories of dating faux pas around.
- Dbag Dating’s Marina Kohrosh offers a taste of candid honesty when writes about meeting a guy on Raya, an online dating site that she refers to as, “ A virtual cesspool of winners" and the shamble of drunkenness that ensued.
- When an insecure blind date won’t shut up about how unattractive his is, and when a date with an older man broaches the line of decency into the kingdom of fetish, Marie Claire shares 27 Of The Worst Dates Ever.
- Mandy Hale of The Single Woman recaps her own tortured dating adventures in this entertaining post about her "Parade of Frogs" and how one particular toad tried to capture her heart by referring to his former girlfriend over dinner as a witch (with a capital B).
- For dog lovers, BarkPost has an array of funny stories about jealous pooches who put the nix on what could’ve been a romantic evening for a few unfortunate couples.
If these stories aren’t proof enough that dating can be universally uncomfortable given the right circumstance, Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst Mary C. Lamia offers a hopeful study that embarrassment can actually be a marker for attraction. "Researchers have found that people who display embarrassment at their social transgressions are more prone to be liked, forgiven, and trusted than those who do not, and, as a result, their embarrassment saves face” (Keltner and Anderson, 2000).
So, embarrassment is a good thing? Evidently. Research like Lamia’s bolsters the theory that embarrassment could be viewed as honesty veiled in humility, which in turn, may be what we’re genuinely after in a mate.
If you have had the privilege to be one of Brene Brown’s twenty-five million viewers of her Ted Talk on vulnerability, then you’ve probably picked up on the idea that shame and vulnerability are probably more realistic than your favorite filter on Instagram will ever be. This comforting knowledge confirms that the next time you get a little sloppy on a date and proceed to ramble neurotically about peeing your pants in your uncle’s Suburban when you were 9, your date might find you more appealing than you find yourself in the moment.
The lyrics to the song Home, by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros share this point exactly. The story goes that Alexander(the lead singer) watched his lover Jade fall out of a window, and when she did, he fell in love with her. The lyrics are:
‒ Do you remember that day you fell outta my window?
‒ I sure do‒you came jumping out after me.
‒ Well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke your ass, and you were bleeding all over the place, and I rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that?
‒ Yes, I do.
‒ Well, there's something I never told you about that night.
‒ What didn't you tell me?
‒ Well, while you were sitting in the backseat smoking a cigarette you thought was gonna be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you.
Who would’ve thought that shame, and falling out of a window could end up in anyone’s favor? All good things take time, and if the timing is just right, chances are high that something moderately humiliating is bound to happen at some point in your dating career. So go ahead, put on those four-inch heels and eat kale chips for an appetizer. You can always blame fate when you stumble down that flight of stairs or accidentally flash a kale-toothed grin. And if it be unabashed and shameless love you seek, Zepeel may have it.
Saying the wrong thing or slipping up once in awhile is what makes life interesting. It could be discouraging to think these things may happen to you and ruin everything, but it’s more likely you’ll just end up with a few colorful stories to tell. And what isn’t more fun than a few good stories? Embarrassment comes in all shapes and sizes, just like the melange of other lonely hearts out there. As they say, there’s someone for everyone. If it’s the right person, it shouldn’t matter if something embarrassing happens.
Finding that right person is a daunting task, that’s why having lots of opportunities to test the dating pool is a great way to do it. There’s no way of knowing who the “one” will be, or how long it will take to meet them. The best thing to do, is take it as it comes, and brush yourself off if something embarrassing happens. The “one” is out there, and it’s just a matter of time until they fall into your life, or you into theirs, by way of stilettos or an open window. But hopefully, it won’t ever come to that. Maybe you’ll meet and everything will go off without a hitch. Who knows?
Meeting that special someone requires effort and confidence that it will happen at some point. Falling is love is a magical, scary, and sometimes embarrassing sequence of events. But in my experience, so worth every moment of humiliation or bliss. Getting to know someone’s idiosyncrasies doesn’t happen overnight, or even within a few dates. And this is why putting yourself out there is the best thing you could ever do. the only way to fall in love, is to give yourself and the other person a shot at happily ever after.
Zepeel has got your back in the search department, all you’ve got to do is go for it and let the chips fall as they may, embarrassing or not. And by joining Zepeel, you’ll know a little bit more about the person than you would by using a traditional profile app, which is a great way to prepare yourself for that first date!
By Janelle Shamp
Janelle is a rural gangster, living out her fantasy of laughing over kombucha dates with potential life mates. She enjoys sitar music and losing high-stakes arm wrestling bets against ten year old Canadian kids. To read more of her writing, check out her blog: www.letters-to-oliver.com.