10 Tips to Build a Successful Online Video Dating Life
By Kassandra Malik
Bachelors of Social Work, University of Calgary, 2007 -Masters of Clinical Social Work, University of Calgary, 2013 Certification: -Registered with the Alberta College of Social Workers (ACSW) - Registration #: 8730 -Authorized by the ACSW to perform psychosocial interventions. - Registered with the Certified Coaches Alliance
Sometimes dating can feel more like a chore than an enjoyable experience. There seems to be so many unspoken rules and regulations. The first issue that comes up is finding ways to actually meet Mr. or Mrs. right. Thankfully, technology can enhance our love life in a variety of ways. Taking a leap and putting yourself out there in the online dating world can be a nerve racking but exciting time. With so many options for meeting potential dates these days it can be hard to know which route to pick. Maybe you’ve already tried the texting/chatting route and feel like you want something more personal. In reality it is easier to stay behind a screen and stay in your comfort zone. If you're ready to date and meet people in real time, Zepeel is the option for you! Zeepel brings you a new and fresh video dating option to put yourself out there, meeting new people and even find your soulmate.
Here are 10 tips to build up a successful online video dating life with the goal of finding true offline love:
- Self Reflection: When looking to pursue a relationship it is important to understand and have an idea of what kind of values and characteristics you want your ideal partner to have. When you take the time to reflect, you will limit potential mismatches and avoid wasting time. Thankfully, Zepeel allows you to set search preferences around hobbies, age, and body type.
- Effective Communication: Did you know that roughly 38% of our communication is through our voice/tone and 7% is our spoken words (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mehrabian)? When creating your video profile or chatting be mindful of your tone and the words you are using. When people sense a positive tone they are more likely to be drawn into wanting to connect further. Now, here's the key. To be successful at effective communication tone, body language and spoken words should be congruent to promote authenticity and convey genuine interest.
- Non-verbal Body Language: Roughly 55% of our communication is non-verbal (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mehrabian). It is important to have awareness of how you are presenting non-verbally. Are you smiling and being inviting to commence conversation? Or are your arms crossed and you look upset? Have you ever been speaking to someone and you can tell that they clearly are not interested by their non-verbal cues? Your non-verbal communication will let someone know if you are interested and how open you are to them.
- Honesty: If you are serious about finding love, it is important to be as honest as you can be during video chats. If we are not honest, we cannot establish trust and if trust is not there then it is impossible to begin a healthy, successful relationship.
- Be Yourself: It can be intimidating knowing that people can see you live during a video chat; a part of attracting appropriate matches is having the confidence to show others that you are not afraid to be yourself. I am a firm believer of being your authentic self. Would you rather have a person like you for who you genuinely are, or would you like someone to like the “pretend you?” The more authentic you can be, the more the trust and connection can grow.
- Being Present: Does anyone else get annoyed when you go out to dinner and the person you’re with is on their phone the whole time? When you’re on a call with someone, find a quiet place away from other family members, noises, pets or other distractions. Also, try to limit surfing on the internet or other electronics (i.e. tv in the background) so that the person feels like you’re really engaged in the conversation and are interested in getting to know them.
- Active Listening: No one can resist speaking to a person who is not only present but is demonstrating that they are listening and engaged with what the other person is saying. This in fact is the basis of having a healthy friendship/relationship.
- Be Cautious: Until you reach a reasonable level of comfort with someone, it’s important to not reveal too many personal details. For example: I wouldn’t advise giving your direct phone number, address or financial information right off the bat.
- Have an Open Mind: The moment we see someone, we make a snap judgement on his or her looks. Well, here’s the thing, we’ve all heard the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover.” The same goes for online video dating. Physical attraction is important but so is having a person who shares your interests and is genuinely interested in you. Be open and adventurous about connecting with people you may not normally associate with, you might be surprised.
- Have Fun: Zepeel gives you the opportunity to meet a variety of different people on one awesome platform. It’s important to remember that finding love should be an enjoyable, exciting process. If we begin to worry, get discouraged or put time restrictions on meeting someone, the experience will get tainted and that will affect our self-esteem and well-being. When you go into video dating with a positive, open-minded attitude good things will come your way!
If you're ready to open up a new world of possibilities in the online dating world and want a more authentic connection experience, video dating is a great option. These ten tips provide you with a solid foundation to become a video dating pro! If you want more information or tips on dating and relationships, please see my website. Happy video dating!
Kassandra Malik, MSW
“Kassandra Malik is a master’s level social worker and relationship coach. She works from a strengths based perspective to maximize communication and connection in relationships”