7 Celebrity Odd Couples
This is merely an introduction into the wild and weird world of celebrity pairings that could be considered bizarre. They were chosen purely on merit, and while we try to refrain from the obvious contradictory conclusions that could be drawn from such matches, we also, may not. The overall observations we would like to make are; biology precedes love, but so does fated star-crossed attraction.
1. Matthew Barney and Bjork
Matthew Barney is an American multimedia artist, known for avant garde works in sculpture, painting, and cinema. Bjork is an Icelandic lyrical genius, as folkloric as; Lord Byron possessed by a Haitian Voodoo priest incanting poetic mythos to enraptured audiences. Barney went to Yale, and after graduating, became a catalogue model. He was introduced to the art community in New York, where his mother was an abstract painter. He is known for creating epic multi-part audiovisual pieces that take years to create. They often have social, political, and biological references. Although Bjork and Barney broke-up in 2013, they were known separately for their curious artistic inclinations. When they collaborated together, both in art and love, they were relentlessly eccentric. And this is why they are odd couple numero uno.
2. Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton
The Red Queen, Marla Singer, Beatrix Lestrange, Morgan Lafae. Helena Bonham Carter has epitomized all of these fantastical roles, as if the fluidity of her characters is defined by the assortment of her own personality. Her execution of dark muses make her a timeless classic; who for only the best and strangest roles are written. Tim Burton is a director, and was her partner for thirteen years. During that time, they collaborated on as many as eight films together. His marked capacity for dark, spellbinding cinema, and her ability to perform it, made the projects they worked on compelling. Before they split, they shared a home in London together, a’ la Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera—separated by a hallway in which the two lived in different apartments. They made a remarkable and deserved odd couple. Lestrange est belle.
3. Kermit and Miss Piggy
He is a charming, green felted musician, gifted in banjo plucking and serenade. She is a luscious pink doozy, with a boisterous but loving tenor. Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Because in Jim Henson’s world, pigs and frogs can be lovers. It never seemed to matter to Kermit or Miss P. that they are from different sides of the barnyard, or even fictitious romantic childhood dream fodder. All you need is love, and these two had been proliferating that particular Beatles anthem for decades, before their shocking, but perhaps inevitable split in 2015.
5. Iman and David Bowie
After spearheading a prolific and legendary music career starting in the 1970’s with his alter ego Ziggy Stardust, Bowie progressed through several musical incarnations. He made cinematic waves working with visionary directors: Christopher Nolan, Martin Scorsese, David Lynch, and Jim Henson. He played the Goblin King in Henson’s The Labyrinth in 1991, just one year after he met former supermodel Iman at a dinner party in L.A. Iman is Somali born, and was discovered while studying political science in Mogadishu. She is famous for being the first African model to find success on the runway and in print. The speculation around what brought these two together remains questionable. But who cares? The couple remained married for twenty-six years until Bowie’s death in January 2016.
6. John Lennon and Yoko Ono
Again, only because they are both a little odd. They staged “Bed-ins for peace” where they laid in bed for a week on their honeymoon in protest of the Vietnam war. When they met, John was married, and Ono allegedly would call his home at all times of day. He would tell his then wife, Cynthia, that she was calling to ask for money for, “Some of her avant garde bullshit”. When he finally divorced Cynthia, the two famously became inseparable. He bought her a king sized bed to put in the recording studio on Abbey Road when she was recovering from a car accident. Perhaps all of this togetherness is the reason Ono condoned John’s eighteen month love affair with May Pang, because as she states, “The affair was not something that was hurtful to me. I needed a rest. I needed peace.” It seems Lennon’s “Give peace a chance” held true even in his most intimate relationships
7. Leo Dicaprio and every model ever
Seriously. Why? A face can launch a thousand ships, or in the case of Leonardo DiCaprio, just his private yacht; and straight to Israel or the closest Victoria’s Secret show. It is almost impossible to imagine (if it weren't true) one of the generation’s most accomplished actors, as millionaire playboy or even James Bond. But Leo has managed to put a nice shellac on the notion that successful, intelligent, men are complete suckers for a pretty face like the rest of them. He’s dated Gisele Bundchen, Bar Refaeli, Erin Heatherton, Toni Garrn, and Kelly Rohrbach. All models. He has never been married, which to relationship psychologists may suggest he is commitment phobic or just model-philic. The world won’t run out of young pretty faces anytime soon. So we can probably count on Leo’s yacht to be cruising around for a while longer.
4. Henry the VIII and Anne Boleyn
When Henry the VIII and Anne Boleyn were immortalized in Showtime’s The Tudors, Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Natalie Dormer made this train wreck of a wedding look attractive. After annulling his marriage to Catherine of Aragon, who was a legit Spanish princess, Henry married Anne Boleyn. “Royals” by Lorde could’ve been the soundtrack to Anne’s life. As an educated aristocrat, she finagled her way into queenship, by refusing Henry’s sexual advances. To bed Anne, all Henry had to do was split from the Roman Catholic Church, declare himself Supreme Head of the Church of England, and become excommunicated, when the Pope would not agree to annul his marriage to Catherine. Anne was later credited as Henry’s inspiration for bringing independence to England from Rome. This credit may be due, since Henry convicted her of treason, when she did not bear him a male heir, and had her head chopped off. C’est la vie, when you probably weren't ever really meant to be.
These are a few examples of how love prevails and often fails. But the whole point, is to give it a try and enjoy the ride. The love of your life could be at the next art exhibit, company dinner, a yacht party, or if you’re lucky, right here on Zepeel. It’s not about getting your head chopped off, or heart broken. It’s about the exhilaration of butterflies in your tummy, and snuggly Sunday mornings in bed with coffee. It’s about gazing lovingly into your partner’s eyes whenever they say something everyone else would think is stupid, because you think it’s cute. It’s about love plain and simple. With Zepeel you could roll the dice and meet this special someone, or at least go on a few bad dates, and have some great stories to tell your friends afterwards.
By Janelle Shamp
Janelle is a rural gangster, living out her fantasy of laughing over kombucha dates with potential life mates. She enjoys sitar music and losing high-stakes arm wrestling bets against ten year old Canadian kids. To read more of her writing, check out her blog: www.letters-to-oliver.com.